Do you ever daydream about what you would do if you had the ability to instantly change yourself? Would you look the same, or act the same, or live the same?
For as long as I can remember, I’ve spent time drifting off, plotting how I would change my height, my hair, my body shape, my abilities and talents (or lack thereof). Sometimes the desire is something innocent, like wishing I was a little taller. Sometimes the thought turns to something more substantial, like wishing I could learn Spanish so I could communicate with more of my older relatives.
One of the things I daydreamed about most is my ability to memorize Scripture. As a kid, I rarely ever cracked open a Bible, if only to quickly memorize a Sunday School memory verse on the rare occasions I was able to attend. While in college, I accepted Christ and desired to know more about the Bible, but always felt as though everything I read would never stick in my mind. I spent so much time reading and rereading the same passages, trying to store some nugget of wisdom or mental picture to help me memorize and absorb what I had just read. I would pray and ask God to help me remember what I had just read so I could apply it to my life and share it with others. I felt so inadequate when I talked to my small group or Bible study leaders, because they would talk about what God had taught them, and would casually toss out a Scripture that referenced that same topic. If I was ever asked about Scriptures, my mind would go blank, and I would just hear the sound of crickets chirping in my head. Thankfully, since college, I have been able to remember and memorize certain Scripture passages, but not as many as I’d like.
That being said, one of the things people learn quickly after meeting me is that I am a HUGE movie and TV fan. They have been a part of my life for as long as I can remember, mostly because I grew up with parents who loved going to the movies or watching TV after a long day. As a kid I watched Siskel & Ebert the way other kids watched He-Man or The Smurfs. I grew up watching a variety of movies, from Animal House to Sergeant York to The Color Purple to Trading Places to
For a long time, I’ve wished that I could memorize and remember Scripture the way I can movies or actors or random TV shows. I would wonder if it was the way I was reading, or maybe the type of Bible I had. About a week ago, I was thinking about this topic again when God was gracious enough to bonk me on the head with the answer. I had become so prideful in my ability to remember random, useless pop culture information that it was keeping me from learning and truly absorbing the things that mattered. If you become known for something and are complimented on it, what’s the likelihood that you’re going to stop doing it? Chance are, you’re going to continue, but with even more vigor and determination.
I liked being recognized as great at something, even if it was for something of no spiritual value or intrinsic worth. He showed me that my pride was keeping me from understanding His word and my ability to remember it, and that if I applied myself to studying JUST His truth, I would gain a far greater reward than any flattery or compliments the world has to offer. Plus, these things I’ve prided myself on knowing don’t bring me any closer in my walk with Him, nor do they teach me how to love others or live like Christ did.
It’s a sobering day when you finally look up at the mirror He holds before you. But praise God for his goodness and mercy.
“I remember your ancient laws, O LORD, and I find comfort in them.” – Psalm 119:52
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