I've heard that saying a lot over the years, and had come to understand and appreciate its meaning during several key events of my life. But, this simple phrase became so very real to me yesterday morning when I stood in church and worshipped there for the first time in over a month. Because of Hurricane Ike, our two weeks away in Russia, and then some crappy stomach pains I had last week, I had missed several weeks of church.
While in Russia I had several chances to participate in individual worship as well as corporate worship with our brothers and sisters there. But, being back home at our church, seeing the familiar faces of those who partnered with us through prayer and support, and then hearing the powerful and majestic music of praise to our Lord was almost too much for me. I felt like my insides were going to burst with a mix of joy and awe and peace and reverance.
Hearing these words being sung aloud to a sovereign and glorious God, especially in light of what I just witnessed Him do in Russia, was definitely a high point for me.
After wrapping up my BSF lesson tonight, I began reading some of Psalms, and I came across Psalm 144, where David tells God he will sing a new song to him, and will play a 10-stringed harp for him. Throughout this book and others are countless stories of men and women singing praises to God and playing instruments to Him. It made me stop and think about the first ones on earth who played music. Did they understand what it was right away? Did they begin to look for more things that would make interesting sounds and noises? And once they found an instrument, at what point did they realize they could use it to make joyful noises unto the Lord? When did they realize their voices could be a way to honor and celebrate God and His goodness?
Thinking of all this made me realize how gracious God was to give us music. He could have just been ok with us speaking praises to Him alone. Or writing Him a nice letter of praise and thanks and petitions. But, he allows us to experience this rich and rewarding gift, and then use it to give Him thanks for it. I love that He loves music and worship in its various forms. I can't wait to find out what heavenly music and worship will sound like.
Monday, October 13, 2008
Thursday, October 9, 2008
"So How Was Your Trip?"
I have had about 50 people ask me that question so far, and the first response I come up with is, "Great!" To be quite honest, after a few days back home, my first answer was a little more "good" than "great". What caused the difference?
The reason is comparison.
When I first came back, I struggled nearly every day to not compare this trip to last year's trip. Last year's trip was an epiphany for me, opening my eyes to God's vastness and power and beauty and holiness and mercy in an immediate way. I saw Him in ways I never thought would be possible for someone as broken as me. It was also the catalyst for new ministry opportunities, as well as deeper investment and involvement in other people's lives.
I do see that He changed me as a result of this trip, albeit in vastly different ways than last year. Instead of an immediate charge of excitement and zeal, I came back with a lot of quiet reflection and clarity about how God used me and grew me during my time there. I had a lot of powerful and exciting conversations last year, with four women praying to accept Christ as their Lord and Savior. This time, I didn't have those same kind of "powerful" conversations, but I did have good conversations where I either got to present the gospel or encourage someone in their walk with God.
The only reason this trip initially seemed "lesser" than last year's is because I kept comparing the two, to my own detriment. After much praying, I see now that God had very specific lessons for my last trip. This time, there were different lessons and experiences to be had, but I was so busy comparing and expecting something else that I almost missed the point entirely.
The point is that God is the same then, now and forever. He worked in incredible, vivid ways last year, and He was the same incredible, vivid God this time, but it's my own narrow vision and scope that saw less and celebrated less.
My vision has to change. I don't want to look at mission trips like these and see them for what I think they are. I want to see them as God sees them, and celebrate every person, conversation and opportunity. I want to look back and not have regret over things that could have been said or done differently, but to look at them with excitement and fervent joy and happiness because of who He is. I want to be overjoyed thinking back at all the times I was out of my comfort zone, whether it was sharing my testimony in front of 30 people, or helping entertain a room full of school kids, or being stranded on a quiet highway in a broken bus.
More importantly, my life's focus has to be on Christ and what He did for me on the cross, and nothing else. No experience or conversation or moment will ever match or compare. That is what I want people to know about my life and my heart. That I was forever changed because of what He did, and not what I saw or experienced. My belief in Him and His love and forgiveness and mercy and righteousness is what makes me who I am.
"The greatest need we have is not to do things, but to believe things. The redemption of Christ is not an experience, it is the great act of God which He has performed through Christ, and I have to build my faith on it. If I construct my faith on my own experience, I produce the most unscriptural kind of life— an isolated life, with my eyes focused solely on my own holiness. Beware of that human holiness that is not based on the atonement of the Lord. It has no value for anything except a life of isolation— it is useless to God and a nuisance to man. Measure every kind of experience you have by our Lord Himself. We cannot do anything pleasing to God unless we deliberately build on the foundation of the atonement by the Cross of Christ."
- Oswald Chambers
Here are some pictures from the trip. Enjoy!
From our room in Moscow.
Me, Erik, his interpreter Alain, Sasha (in the middle with shorter hair), her friend Irya, and her brother Vovo. When I met Sasha in the park, she had a tiny kitten hidden inside her hoodie. I am not a fan of cats, but this was one of the cutest cats I'd ever seen. I was thrilled she came and brought her friend and brother.
Two shy girls at our children's program Tuesday night. They were very sweet and had a lot of fun playing Hot Potato.
The reason is comparison.
When I first came back, I struggled nearly every day to not compare this trip to last year's trip. Last year's trip was an epiphany for me, opening my eyes to God's vastness and power and beauty and holiness and mercy in an immediate way. I saw Him in ways I never thought would be possible for someone as broken as me. It was also the catalyst for new ministry opportunities, as well as deeper investment and involvement in other people's lives.
I do see that He changed me as a result of this trip, albeit in vastly different ways than last year. Instead of an immediate charge of excitement and zeal, I came back with a lot of quiet reflection and clarity about how God used me and grew me during my time there. I had a lot of powerful and exciting conversations last year, with four women praying to accept Christ as their Lord and Savior. This time, I didn't have those same kind of "powerful" conversations, but I did have good conversations where I either got to present the gospel or encourage someone in their walk with God.
The only reason this trip initially seemed "lesser" than last year's is because I kept comparing the two, to my own detriment. After much praying, I see now that God had very specific lessons for my last trip. This time, there were different lessons and experiences to be had, but I was so busy comparing and expecting something else that I almost missed the point entirely.
The point is that God is the same then, now and forever. He worked in incredible, vivid ways last year, and He was the same incredible, vivid God this time, but it's my own narrow vision and scope that saw less and celebrated less.
My vision has to change. I don't want to look at mission trips like these and see them for what I think they are. I want to see them as God sees them, and celebrate every person, conversation and opportunity. I want to look back and not have regret over things that could have been said or done differently, but to look at them with excitement and fervent joy and happiness because of who He is. I want to be overjoyed thinking back at all the times I was out of my comfort zone, whether it was sharing my testimony in front of 30 people, or helping entertain a room full of school kids, or being stranded on a quiet highway in a broken bus.
More importantly, my life's focus has to be on Christ and what He did for me on the cross, and nothing else. No experience or conversation or moment will ever match or compare. That is what I want people to know about my life and my heart. That I was forever changed because of what He did, and not what I saw or experienced. My belief in Him and His love and forgiveness and mercy and righteousness is what makes me who I am.
"The greatest need we have is not to do things, but to believe things. The redemption of Christ is not an experience, it is the great act of God which He has performed through Christ, and I have to build my faith on it. If I construct my faith on my own experience, I produce the most unscriptural kind of life— an isolated life, with my eyes focused solely on my own holiness. Beware of that human holiness that is not based on the atonement of the Lord. It has no value for anything except a life of isolation— it is useless to God and a nuisance to man. Measure every kind of experience you have by our Lord Himself. We cannot do anything pleasing to God unless we deliberately build on the foundation of the atonement by the Cross of Christ."
- Oswald Chambers
Here are some pictures from the trip. Enjoy!
From our room in Moscow.
Me, Erik, his interpreter Alain, Sasha (in the middle with shorter hair), her friend Irya, and her brother Vovo. When I met Sasha in the park, she had a tiny kitten hidden inside her hoodie. I am not a fan of cats, but this was one of the cutest cats I'd ever seen. I was thrilled she came and brought her friend and brother.
Two shy girls at our children's program Tuesday night. They were very sweet and had a lot of fun playing Hot Potato.
Me and Dinara during our home visit with Nina, one of the graduates from a rehab center in Verknee Hava just outside Voronezh. She is a believer, and asked us to keep her family in our prayers. She and her husband desire to raise their children in a God-honoring way, and pray their children would all be strong followers of God.
A concert in Shilova by some of the church youth. They were amazing, and sang with a lot of passion. They sang "How Great is Our God", which is one of my favorites.
Finally, this is me with my awesome interpreter Dinara. I was so blessed to meet her and work with her!
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